


Swimming and You

by lesbianisakeijser



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Ari and Dante AU, Canon Trans Character, Depression, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-04-23 16:11:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19154473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianisakeijser/pseuds/lesbianisakeijser
Summary: Matteo feels like he doesn't know himself anymore, so he goes out for a walk. He meets a stranger at an empty, abandoned pool. For some reason, it makes him feel like he finally makes sense to himself.(Or: the davenzi Ari and Dante AU literally everyone was asking for.)





	1. Chapter 1

Matteo was lying on his back on his bed in his room, and it felt like he didn’t know anything about himself anymore. His music library was on shuffle, and he didn’t like the particular song, but he also felt like he can’t physically get up. He knows this thought is complete bullshit - obviously he can, his arms and legs can move - but the mere thought of standing upright made him want to take a rest. His fingers were fiddling with his stress ball. Lately he used it even when he wasn’t stressed, and it has become such a regular thing for him to do that he found himself unable to focus without it. It should scare him, having something else taking control over his concentration, but yet again - he found he didn’t care.

He felt restless, though, and he knew he wants to do something, go somewhere, talk to someone, do anything that wasn’t lying on his back on his bed in his room listening to music he hadn’t liked in years. He decided to count to ten and then get up. This was also something he started doing lately - counting to a certain number before starting to do something. It felt like preparing for a battle, and he knew it’s not logical thinking, but these ten seconds allowed him to be able to think of the action and relax. He was at five already, and this was the time to take a deep breath. Seven, and he knew he needed to get up, because that’s the goal he set to himself. Ten, and he feels his hands pushing him off the bed.

He blacks out for a few seconds - probably should have gotten up slower - and then takes a look at his room. He looks exactly the same it has always been - light walls with a few pictures and a messy desk and a messier bed - and he doesn’t know if he likes the feeling bubbling in his chest or not. It happened to him a lot lately, too, that he doesn’t know if he likes some feelings or not. He feels like it’s as if he’s not sure what these feelings are, and the worst part is that he doesn’t know if he wants to know what they are. There’s no one he can talk to about it, anyway, and he feels like it wouldn’t make such a big difference. Just another person knowing what’s going - or not going, in Matteo’s case - in your mind. He feels like his mind isn’t that interesting anyway.

He decided to go for a walk. He doesn’t know where and when he’s going to get bored and come back home, but he left a note for his mother of the door if she comes looking for him. He knows she wouldn’t - she’s too busy being in bed with the lights out and doing nothing, as usual - but just in case. He puts the house keys, his wallet, his phone, a charger and his headphones in a backpack and closes the door as quietly as he can. He decided to wear his sneakers, even though they’re ugly, because he likes how they fit his legs like a glove. It’s a weird thing to enjoy, but he couldn’t really help it.

There’s no one outside. It makes sense when Matteo thinks about it a little bit, because really, it’s too hot, and it’s summer, so everyone is either in their home or the pools and the beaches, and he finds that he likes walking alone down a street he knows well. He thinks he likes it, finding out the things he likes to do. It makes him giddy and restless, but in a good way, somehow. It was only at this point he had realized the stress ball was still in his hand. He wondered whether he should put it in his backpack or not, because he wanted to be separated from it for a change, but found that it takes more than counting to ten to stop squeezing it.

At some point, he felt like he needed to stop somewhere, to be completely surrounded by the outside. It felt cringy to do that, but he tried to convince himself he shouldn’t care. There’s no one outside anyway, so no one would notice, and he could always just get up and continue walking. So he found a bench and felt his body crashing on it. It was a little embarrassing, considering the fact that he shouldn't be that tired from walking a single street, but once again - he found himself not caring.

He looked around. The street looked the same it has always been every time he walked it - houses with light walls, green grass in front of them, curtains drawn over the windows. For some reason, he felt fake. Fake for pretending to be as he has always been in a street that looks the same as always, even when he's everything but the same he has always been. Because he knows he's very, very far away from being the same Matteo he's used to be. And that scares him, a little. If he doesn't know who he is anymore, and if he himself isn't sure he knows Matteo, then who else will?

His train of thought stops when he sees someone walking on the other side of the street. He - at least, Matteo thinks it's a boy - has dark hair and dark skin, and for some reason he wears a dark sweater over a black shirt with long black jeans. Matteo doesn't really understand what's wrong with the guy - it's very hot outside, black absorbs heat, and a sweater? - but it occurs to him the guy didn't even see him. He then stood in front of a building, surrounded by a fence, and bent over to go inside from under it. Matteo raised an eyebrow - internally, of course, otherwise it's too much work - and watched carefully as the guy disappeared from his eyesight.

Matteo thinks about going after him, to see if he’s about to do anything dangerous or illegal. Actually, no. He’s lying to himself. He wants to go after him because he made Matteo curious. And it’s been a while since he was curious. He decided to count to ten again, and when he gets to three he thinks about regretting and letting the thought of getting up go. It doesn’t matter anyway. But then he gets to six, and then nine, and he knows he has to get up otherwise he would stop doing things after counting to ten. So he gets up, and bends under the fence, and then he thinks there’s something slightly weird about the way the building looks.

It doesn’t seem like it used to be appropriate for living. It’s big - too big, in Matteo’s opinion - and it seemed like there was only one floor. He hesitated before going in, since he doesn’t know the guy and doesn’t know the place, but he knew the chances of something going awfully wrong aren’t very high. It’s very unlikely of him, to have these “fuck it” moments where he just goes for whatever it is that he wants to do. It made him nervous - but in a good way - so he found an open door and entered the abandoned building without having to count to ten. He felt good, feeling something. He wasn’t excited for so long that he doesn’t really remember if this is what it feels like.

Matteo is surprised when he realized where he is. A pool.

The pool itself is empty. No water, no people. Even the mysterious guy isn’t anywhere Matteo can see. It feels haunted, and Matteo isn’t sure if it makes him want to stay there more or run away as fast as he can. He decides he likes it, and gets in the empty place where water should be. He never liked pools - not as a kid and not as a teenager. No one ever taught him how to swim, so he avoided pools as much as he could. He once tried to swim without learning how to, and almost drowned. At the end of the day, all he could manage is teaching himself how to float with his face up. He usually closed his eyes doing that, letting himself be. But it’s not like he went to a pool lately.

“I can teach you how to swim,” a voice behind him said. Matteo turned around. The guy he saw was there. He was standing above him, not inside the pool like Matteo, and his face didn’t look like Matteo thought it would. He has pink cheeks and soft, dark eyes, his eyebrows full and raised in question. For some reason, Matteo felt exposed under his gaze. He didn’t know why, and how, and what exactly made him feel that, but for some reason it looked like that guy knew everything about him. “You’re underwater right now,” the guy explained more, probably after realizing how confused Matteo made himself seem. But he wasn’t confused - he was trying to sort his thoughts out.

“How do you know I don’t know how to swim?” Matteo asked. He intended to ask many other things, like ‘who are you’ or ‘what are you doing here’, but his mouth decided on asking the most pointless question instead. On the other hand, Matteo really wasn’t sure how much of a difference a different question would make - it seems like the guy was still going to give him a judgy look. Then, he did something Matteo did not expect - he jumped right into the pool. If there were water in it, Matteo thought, it would splash and make such a loud noise that it would echo within the big, tall walls.

“You’re inside an empty pool,” the guy explains, “I think I can assume you wouldn’t go to one if you knew how to swim.” They’re closer now, and Matteo can see a hint of a smile in his eyes. He’s teasing him, he understands. He makes a mental note of making himself chill more later on, but tries to mimic the small smile the other guy has. He’s not sure if it’s working, really, but he only half-heartedly notices, because he can also see other things on the guy’s face now. Like the small mole on the bridge of his nose, or how different his skin tone is in his eyelids and his jaw, or how long his eyelashes are.

Matteo isn’t sure what to say, so he decides to let his mouth talk instead of his nagging brain. “I was actually following you. My name’s Matteo, by the way.” There’s something shifting in the guy’s eyes. Matteo can’t understand what it is, but he finds comfort in the thought that the guy probably doesn’t know what that is, too. He blinks, twice. Opens his mouth, then closes it. Matteo doesn’t take his eyes off his. It’s his way of challenging him to tell the truth.

“I’m David,” he eventually says. “And you still didn’t answer my question. Do you want me to teach you how to swim?” And it’s at this moment Matteo realizes David just gave him a choice. He’s not asking to teach him how to swim, not really. He’s asking him to continue this - whatever that is. He’s asking Matteo whether he wants to stop this thing going on in an empty, abandoned pool or wants it to go on. Matteo is about to say no - he really is, since he doesn’t know a thing about David and he doesn’t want to invest energy in knowing someone right now - but David raises his eyebrows again, and Matteo thinks it’s maybe worth a shot.

“Yeah, I think so. But not now.” He has to consciously stop himself from biting his lip. He thinks about what is it he should offer. “We could sit outside. It’s hot, but not terrible. Unless you’re wearing a sweater.” Matteo finds himself being the one raising an eyebrow now, and he can see David tries to stop himself from smiling. There it is. He broke the ice. It made him proud of himself, honestly, since he was never good at conversations. But it felt different with David, now. He doesn’t know why, but unlike other situations - he feels like he wants to find out. 

David nodded. They left the pool and went out of the building, bending over once again under the fence. Without thinking, Matteo let David lead the way. They went through streets he did not know, even though he had lived in this place all his life. David took him through many turns - right and left and left and right and right - and Matteo lost any sense of place. There was a part of him that was nervous about being able to get back home, but a different part of him told him it doesn’t even matter. He’s with someone right now, and talking to people is something he had not done is such a long time he doesn’t care about the consequences. He wants to talk and laugh and be himself for once, and this is something he realized he can’t do when he’s on his own. In order to be himself, he decided, he needs someone to show him who he needs to be.

After a while, Matteo doesn’t know why he suggested them being outside. He knew it’s hot, but it got hotter when they were at the pool, and it didn’t seem like it’s going to get any better than that. He had a nice time with David, though - they talked a lot, and it turned out that David was very funny and sarcastic, and it’s been a while since Matteo’s cheeks hurt from laughing. More than a while, actually. He doesn’t remember the last time it happened. David seemed like he had a good time, too - Matteo realized he wasn’t as intimidating as he thought he was. And anyway, he guessed it’s good to have someone he can call a friend. Even though they barely knew each other, he felt like David understood parts of him he probably did not understand himself.

They’re in the middle of a conversation about the consequences of an alien invasion when David’s phone vibrates. “It’s my sister, wait a second,” he says, and Matteo nods. Obviously, he nods. “Laura? I’m out, why? Oh, really? Shit, sorry! You’re right, sorry, I totally forgot about that. I’m coming, yeah, a few minutes. Okay, bye. Sorry.” He hung up the call. “I totally forgot I promised my sister I would help her with something. I gotta go, sorry. You can give me your number, if you want, I’ll send you the link to that article about the chances of aliens existing.”

Matteo gives him his number. It makes him feel exposed, but he tells himself to stop being so nervous about everything. He’s just letting a friend have a way to contact him. He’s trying to grasp that though all the way home - a friend. He has a friend now. He went out of his room and followed some guy and they became friends. It’s kinda weird, because honestly - following someone and becoming their friend? But it made him happy, hopeful. And that’s a feeling he had almost forgotten.

When he gets back home, he makes pasta for him and his mom. It’s her recipe, but he has his own way of making it. Putting different ingredients in the sauce, cooking the pasta a minute less than it should be cooked. Making it his own, somehow. It made him feel good, made him get himself more. Making food that isn’t his own bu being able to turn it into something only he can do made him happy. Even excited. It wasn’t like that all the time, but when it was it felt fantastic. When he was done, he set a plate and brought it to his mom in her room. She didn’t move, but he knew she knows he’s there. He left the plate next to her bed and left. She never ate when he was near, he didn’t know why and never bothered to ask. Maybe someday he will.

His phone buzzed with a text. It was from David. A link to the article he told him about.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe the universe is watching him and planning his future carefully. Maybe the universe will make his mom feel better. Maybe it will lead him to meet someone that’ll make Matteo’s head spin. And maybe it already has, and Matteo just needs to wait for himself to understand that.
> 
> His phone buzzes and cuts his train of thought.
> 
> (or: David texts Matteo. They meet again.)

Matteo couldn’t get the empty pool out of his mind. He was washing the dishes - his mom hadn’t done it in years, even in times when she managed to get out of her bed - and listening to his shuffled music library again. This time, the songs were better and in an order he liked more, even though it could use some improvements. He knew he could take a few minutes to organize them in an order he likes, but stopping with the current action he’s doing takes way too much energy. He knows, objectively, that washing the dishes is a lot more work than changing the order of the songs on his phone, but the idea of stopping makes his head spin. And anyway, it’s not important enough to count to ten. So he doesn’t.

He revisits the empty pool in his memory and completely forgets about the dishes he’s cleaning or the music or the order of the songs. It’s like he’s there again. In the replica of the building he spent hours creating in his memory, he’s going through every small place he didn’t get the chance to go through. He’s spending hours at every small corner of the pool, going through the corridor and exploring every room, memorizing each small detail. In a small place at the back of his mind, he knows it’s not how the place really looks like. He knows he probably makes things up or adds irrelevant information. But he pushes that small place at the back of his mind away.

He stops daydreaming when he realizes he had finished washing all the dishes. His hands were on autopilot when he thought - they are always like that when he’s daydreaming - and apparently, he has been doing that for enough time for them to finish the work. He doesn’t want the dishes to be all clean. It means he needs to find something else to do, otherwise he would get in bed and wouldn’t get out. Sometimes he allows himself that - when he feels like being lazy or when he’s covered in cold sweat in seconds just from the thought of moving - but it’s not a good time for that, he knows it. He needs to clean the house, too, since it’s been a while since he did, but he doesn’t want to do that now. He needs something that will allow his mind to travel somewhere else, away from this broken home and broken town and broken world.

He decided to fold the laundry. For some reason, it’s almost therapeutic for him. It’s allowing him to do something so he can focus, but it’s a repetitive movement, so he doesn’t need to think a lot about it. He assumes other people will think it’s weird, the fact that he has these rules that are helping him to think (because honestly, he shouldn’t need special arrangements to think), but he doesn’t really care. It makes him feel good, it helps him to do things he likes while also being productive, in a way. Why should he care?

He’s in a good mood, he notices that about himself, because in any other occasion he would take his stress ball and sit on his bed or the couch or anywhere else and wouldn’t do anything significant. Good days have gotten more and rarer lately, so he decided he might as well use them as much as he could. He knows he is exhausting himself, but right now he doesn’t really mind. He’s being productive, helping his mom make sure their house also looks like a home and not a dumpster. It’s not like she was doing anything to say he’s helping her rather than doing it instead of her, but the important thing is that he’s doing something. It makes him feel good, knowing he managed to get himself out of bed and doing chores. After seeing his mom in such bad places, he’s grateful for being able to even flip in his bed when he wakes up. It’s because of her that he knows there are people who can’t even do that.

He’s thinking about the universe when his hands work on the dry laundry. He wonders a lot about it - is the universe an entity? Is it listening to him? Looking at him, or other people? Does it have plans for him, or others? If so - what are they? And yes, he knows these thoughts are pointless (after all, it’s not like he can have a small chat with the universe anyway), but he likes drowning in them. When he’s in one of his good days, it makes him hopeful. Maybe the universe is watching him and planning his future carefully. Maybe the universe will make his mom feel better. Maybe it will lead him to meet someone that’ll make Matteo’s head spin. And maybe it already has, and Matteo just needs to wait for himself to understand that.

His phone buzzes and cuts his train of thought. It’s a text from David. They have been talking to each other more and more lately - at least, Matteo tried to catch up with David. He didn’t realize how hard it is to keep a text conversation when he can just not pick up the phone. But he knows he has to, so he always does. It’s working like that - the moment he finds out he got a text, he compares what he’s doing right now to picking up for exactly ten seconds. Not more, not less. Then, he decided when he picks up - when he’s done with what he’s doing right now or at the moment he’s done with counting. And he never allows himself to break this contract with himself. He knows that if he would, everything would go downhill.

He decides to pick up. The text is short. Coordinates, and then ‘15:00. I’ll be there.’

Matteo looked at the time. 14:17. He types the coordinates to his phone. It’s a twenty-minute walk. Not terrible. He texts an ‘okay’, then finish folding the laundry. This time, he thinks about David. He’s always so nice to Matteo, letting him take his time and never complaining or acting strange when he disappears from a conversation. Matteo appreciates that. He knows how he can get, and he doesn’t know how and why and what for, but David seems to be completely okay with Matteo and his issues. It makes Matteo feel safe, even though he rarely feels like that. He also realized David is actually very smart, too. He seems to know a little about many things. Matteo wishes he could be like that, too, instead of knowing just a little bit more than average about a few things.

He finishes folding the laundry when it’s 14:35. It seems a reasonable time to get out, considering he might take a while to figure out the directions. He puts some stuff in his backpack and, without looking - because that would ruin her mood, if she had any - he quietly tells his mom he’s leaving. She doesn’t reply, but that’s okay. He knows she heard him. He leaves a note on the door anyway and decided to wear the same shoes he wore when he first met David. He’s not sure why, but they feel right. Like they might be useful.

He’s walking according to his phone. A turn left, the next one right, and at some point, he’s not sure where he is anymore. It’s okay, though, because it’s not 3 pm yet, and he guesses David will wait for him if he’s a little bit late. And it’s not like he’s lost, really - he’s just not somewhere he knows. He walks past unfamiliar streets, one hand in his pocket, the other clutching his phone, and it makes him feel slightly more alive than he used to feel before leaving home. It’s a feeling he’s not used to. He’s not going out a lot, only when it feels like he can’t be at home anymore, but every time he does he instantly feels better. It’s nice, he thinks. To have something he’s sure will always make him feel better. The only problem was being able to get out of bed to actually go out.

Turns out the place is near the park. David is already there, sitting on a bench, a notebook open on his legs and a pen in his left hand. He’s drawing something, Matteo can tell, but he can’t see what exactly. He tried waving him, but David doesn’t notice, so he stands in front of him for a few seconds before saying something, taking a look. He’s wearing a beanie - a black one, with nothing on it - and some of his hair is on his forehead, almost inside his eyes. He looks good, Matteo decides, and snaps himself out before starting the conversation.

“Hey,” he says, and David’s head snaps up. He closes the notebook immediately. Matteo didn’t mean to surprise him or make him uncomfortable, but with the way David only took a second to smile back he believes it’s okay.

“Hey. How’s it going?” David asks, and Matteo sees he’s trying to be casual, so he sits next to him. Their legs are almost touching, and it’s not something Matteo usually notices, but for some reason he does now. David looks casual when Matteo tries to take a closer look, an observation of his eyes and face and cheekbones and jawline. Matteo wonders what the best answer for that question would be.

“Okay, actually.” Matteo tries to make it sound casual, even though both he and David know it’s not as casual as they think. “I thought about something interesting lately, but I’m not sure if it’s possible. I thought about asking you, but I don’t know how to phrase it.” He’s talking too much, he gets it, fumbling with his words and the things he wants to say with the sounds coming out of his mouth, but David looks everything but judgmental, so he allows himself to crack a smile.

“Well?” David asks, and Matteo almost forgets what they were previously talking about with the way he raises his eyebrows, “What is this something?”

“I thought about the universe, and fate, and luck, and stuff like that,” Matteo says, his voice unsteady for some reason, “And I know it’s a big conversation topic, but still. I figured I believe in fate, or something like that. The secrets of the universe, or something. I’m just not sure what these secrets are. But -” Matteo tries to explain, because David seems way too confused, “- I have a theory. I think the universe is making plans for a few people, and that the rest of the world is made for them. Like, the people that are going to be rock stars or presidents or something like that. And I wondered - how can we know who are the people the universe has plans for?”

David took his time answering. He didn’t look at Matteo when he was thinking, and Matteo, for some reason, understood every detail and every reason he can’t let people see the way his eyes think. His eyebrows knitted together for a second, and Matteo liked the way it looked. It was nice - exciting, even - having someone as cool as David be his friend. It didn't happen to him often (neither having friends in general nor having one of them be cool), so he tried his best to let David know he can take his time. "I think," David eventually says, "I think the people the universe has plans for are not inherently supposed to be famous. They could be like you and I. They could be friends we know or just some random stranger someone we know accidentally bumped shoulders with on the street. Why would the people the universe has plans for become famous? It would expose the universe's intentions, right?"

Matteo took a second to think about it. It made sense, yeah, but there was something bothering him with this observation. “Maybe. But why would the universe plan someone’s life only for them to die unknown? If it truly cared for the plans it made for these people, it would show what it has done for them to others, right? Let people who are smart enough to understand that there is a chance it has plans for them, too.”

David looked confused. “I don’t think I get it. Why would the universe brag about its work? The most beautiful things are always undiscovered. That’s the biggest secret of the universe. If the universe would want everyone to know what beautiful things it had done, it would show us every one of them. If it were like that, nothing bad would exist, right? Or, at least, we wouldn’t know about it. Don’t you think good things are better when they are not public?”

Matteo didn’t know how to answer that. It made sense, but ever since he was a kid everyone tried to convince him that being happy or good or talented meant being famous. Being known. The more people know about you, the better. The more people recognize your name, the more marvelous you are. He knows it’s not right and that he shouldn’t make it so easy for others to let him think that, but he’s heard that for so long that he finds certain truths about it. That’s why, in a part of himself he never allows himself to listen to, he knows he will never be good. Because he doesn’t want to be famous. And yet there David is, telling Matteo the most beautiful things are undiscovered in such confidence he could believe it’s a fact written in every respected science book. It’s interesting, how this boy can change the way Matteo views the world with a single sentence.

“Matteo?”

Matteo snaps back to reality. “Yeah, I’m here. Sorry. I think you’re right. But I still think the universe would find a way to let others know about these people it has plans for. If they even exist, because, I mean, it probably has more important things to take care of. Black holes and racism and stuff like that. Planning people’s life isn’t on the top of its priority list, right?” He knows he looks nervous. He feels nervous, his eyes searching for something to look at that isn’t David. He wishes he knew why he’s so nervous - he’s just sharing his thoughts with a friend - but it feels like breathing is harder.

“Do you think the universe is about humans? Or is there something mysterious we don’t yet know about that dictates the way the universe makes our lives look like?” David asks, and Matteo is so taken aback from the causality of this big question he almost doesn’t know how to answer it. It was an interesting question, though, and Matteo saw in David’s eyes that he doesn’t have an answer to it, too.

“I don’t know. I don’t think the universe is trying to find a certain thing to focus on. I think it’s just trying to… be, you know? Just trying to continue existing. What if it’s just existing, without doing anything, and the only ones who get to decide what’s going to happen are us? When we fail a test or fuck something up, it’s not some weird fate or universe shit. It’s just us fucking something up or not succeeding. What if this is how it is? What if there isn’t anything taking care of us? Or trying to make sure we’re okay and better?” Matteo knows he should stop talking, because honestly, he had already given a speech. But he wants to know what David thinks of these thoughts he has more and more often. “Is it scarier to have something controlling you or having it not caring at all?”

“You sound like my sister,” David says. Matteo didn’t know he has a sister. He’s waiting for elaboration, but David doesn’t. His eyes darken, even though they stay the same colour they have always been. Matteo doesn’t know what of the things he said was wrong, and he was too afraid to ask. It’s not exactly like he was walking on eggshells - he knew David, and just like Matteo got his moods sometimes, so did he - but it didn’t change the fact that he didn’t know what to do at that moment.

They end up staying at the bench for a while longer, not talking. Matteo has a million questions he wants to ask, but he understands that David won’t answer them. For every reason. For any reason. And it’s okay. He knows how hard it is sometimes, opening up. And even though it might seem faint, this talk about the universe was definitely something personal. For both of them. He saw that David didn’t speak to anyone about it. And that meant Matteo is the only one in the universe David had this talk with. It made him happy, to know there are parts of his friend only he knows. It was also sort of scary, but he couldn’t allow himself to think about it now. Sitting next to him was enough.

When each of them turns to his home, Matteo watches David leave. He’s walking with his hands tight around the edge of his pockets, his eyes to the ground, his body like waiting for something - or someone - to hurt him. Matteo knows, when he’s walking home, that he doesn’t look much different when walking. But changing this habit is too much hard work. He has done a lot that day - he doesn’t need to do more than that.

When he gets home, he thinks of David again. He decides that he’ll text him again a few days later and ask to meet up when he has a new thought bothering him. He listens to music again, and it’s nice. Because it seems like the music gets him. And for some weird reason, he didn’t get this feeling in a long time. And it seemed like he liked it. It made him feel like he finally knows himself a little bit more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here it is!! i'm actually very happy with how this chapter turned out. feel free to comment!!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! i hope you like it! you can also find me on tumblr, i'm @ schreibnersfriday! feel free to comment :)


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